Squealing & Screaming Already

The anticipation is real, but so is the hesitation. 

I've been a fan of American Horror Story since my sophomore year roommate suckered me into watching it. I'd never been someone who enjoyed being scared. I have a vivid imagination and horror never suited me. Or so I thought. Asylum was my first taste of it and after Adam Levine's arm got bitten off, I was hooked. Asylum was psychological, thrilling, bizarre, and worthy of a few blood-curdling screams from my side of the television. Coven was interesting. The shocking moments were few and far between, which was nice for the people I watched it with because I wasn't shrieking all the time. I didn't feel any real adrenaline pumping, though.

Sidebar: Coven ranks the highest of the three seasons on Rotten Tomatoes with an 81% from all critics. When you click the top credits option, however, Coven drops to a 73% and Asylum scores a 78%. 

What does get my adrenaline pumping... CLOWNS. Put on a red nose and I'm out. I can't even sit next to the statues of Ronald McDonald without feeling the inclination to puke or cry. That said, I am beyond amped for the new American Horror Story installment: Freak Show. The minute FX released the title, I felt my entire body crumble. But like many of the viewers, I am ready to torture myself, to sit and cry and scream and feel oh so alive.

Today, they released the first real trailer (eeeek!). It's funny that most news sources reporting on the release had to emphasize that it's "real". There have been fake ones circulating for months and some are pretty legit. Anyway, here it is:

First things first, I'm glad they haven't dropped the tradition of creepy music. The music for the AHS intros and promos have been spot on each year. Hauntingly eerie and uncomfortable, but catchy. This particular tune comes from Melanie Martinez, an alum of NBC's The Voice, who's one half Lana Del Ray and one half Lorde, mixed with a dose of crazy pills (seriously watch her Dollhouse music video and not squirm).

Thankfully, we finally get to see Jessica Lang, in all her glorious bitch power. Each year, she's flawless and with her character closing out the promo (the tents literally fall when she walks out) it proves that this season will be no different. Her character is an immigrant from Germany (cue the stereotypes about German women) who oversees the freak show.

Still missing, however, are returners Emma Roberts and Gaborey Sideibe. The only clues on Roberts's character is a name: Maggie. Sideibe's character has also been kept on the DL too. We know just her name: Patricia. Perhaps they don't have as prominent roles in this season, but we'll just have to wait to find out. I should mention that Sideibe was cast in a series called Empire, which is now in post-production, and could have caused scheduling issues.

Sidebar again! For those concerned that the promo isn't scary... click here and watch all of the short teasers. They're absolutely awful in the best way possible. If they're our gauge for how scary the season will be, I'M ALREADY HORRIFIED.

Here's the official description of the new season, as released by FX and creator Ryan Murphy (I still can't get over that he's the man behind Glee too):

"Season four of the FX anthology starts in Florida, circa 1952, and centers on a troupe of curiosities that arrives at the same time that a dark entity emerges, threatening the lives of townsfolk and freaks alike. This is the story of the performers and their desperate journey of survival amid the dying world of the American carny experience."

Fun Fact! Ryan Murphy directed the first episode of Freakshow... he hasn't directed an AHS episode since the very first episode of season 1, Murder House.

The only other major tidbit the Internet gives us in regards to the new season comes from IMDB. They have the first four episode titles listed!
ep 1: Monster Among Us (shaking in my boots over here)
ep 2: Massacres and Matinees (stop it right now *cries*)
ep 3: Edward Mordrake: Part One (who is this dude?)
ep 4: Edward Mordarke: Part Two (he has to be important if he gets two parts, no?)

The most frustrating this about this whole thing is that we still have some time to wait before the premiere on October 8th. So sit tight and brace yourself for the best worst season of AHS.

Philly Phriday: Nancy Glass Productions

Welcome to the first ever Philly Phriday! Each Friday, I'm going to highlight a production company that hails from the Philadelphia area. This week's spotlight is on...

If you don't know Nancy Glass, then you don't know television. Ms. Glass is a 6-time Emmy Award winning television host, producer, and writer. She's done it all and now owns her own company that does some pretty identifiable work. Nancy Glass specializes in non-fiction reality cable programming with current shows gracing the screen on networks like the Cooking Channel, Travel Channel, HGTV, Food Network, Animal Planet, and Nat Geo.

The company's recent success was secured by the execs over at Animal Planet. Charlie Foley, the EVP of Original Content over at Discovery Communications, developed the show concept and passed it over to Glass's team to produce. You should check out Charlie Foley, his resume is absolutely mind-blowing. The guy has a gift.

A bit of industry knowledge: television shows can be developed by in-house network executives and assigned to production companies or by development teams at production companies, who create them and then shop their ideas to various networks. 

Anyway, just last week, the series was renewed for a fifth season! This is monumental for Nancy Glass Productions because Animal Planet has seen a tremendous growth in the past two years because of shows like Tanked, River Monsters, and the most anticipated event of the year, every single year: PUPPY BOWL. It now ranks #16 in cable for men 25-54, which is huge for the network and Discovery Communications as a whole. 

Fun fact: Discovery Communications is the #1 Pay TV Provider in the world. They're huge. They own 100 channels in more than 180 countries and have 13 networks in the US alone. They're like the Roman Empire- the sun never sets on them.

The momentum keeps rolling for the Bala Cynwyd based company. Philadelphia-native and owner of La Colombe coffee, Todd Carmichael joined forces with Nancy Glass to create Dangerous Grounds. The reality series, which airs on Travel Channel, follows Carmichael as he scours the most exotic places across the globe looking for the best coffee beans. The hour-long episodes wooed audiences, which led Travel Channel to renew the series in 2013, green lighting a second season. The fate of the program is up in the air, as it is waiting for the go-ahead for season three, but I have faith. 

Another slam dunk for the company (and the last I'm going to go into detail on because I'm in need of a cat nap) is their yearly RV special that airs on HGTV... and has been since 2008. That's six years, people. Each year, Nancy Glass and her team follow three families as they navigate the US's most extravagant RV expo in hopes of finding their dream RV. Viewers get an inside look at all the fancy and flashy new technology used to make RVs even more luxurious. More than likely HGTV will order RV 2015 as the previous editions have done well. 

I should mention that Nancy Glass also has offices in LA, but if you Google her, the Philadelphia address comes up. First in Google's heart is first in my heart... which basically means it's not up for debate.

Baring it All: I Support Nude Shows

It's hard to miss all the nudity (or pixelated privates) on television in the past year. You have the groundbreaking Naked and Afraid on the Discovery Channel and Dating Naked, which is produced by Lighthearted Entertainment (the irony of this is so great) for VH1, amongst a long list of programs floating around in development. People get all worked up that these networks are manipulating viewers to click the show and watch by using nakedness as a kind of ploy. I scoff because television networks would never be able to convince consumers to watch their shows without a bit of gimmick. But not the tricky, conniving kind of gimmick. It's part of the business, trying to hook viewers with that one key word or image. We're a society that wants instant answers. We don't sit and read descriptions and log lines. We read the title and we judge the book. Networks are not manipulative per say, they're just smart. They know what grabs and what gets overlooked. Nakedness grabs you, whether you're comfortable admitting it or not. 

Once I was hooked and watching, I developed a different view of nudity. I'd like to think it's more mature and poetic. It's not utilized in these shows to be solely that "wow-factor" that makes the format different from the next. There is something more going on. For Naked and Afraid, the nudity symbolizes and reflects the complete vulnerability the contestants must battle through. It's not just that you are stranded in the rugged outdoors with one tool and one partner, but you're without clothes. There is NOTHING keeping the bugs from intruding your nooks and crannies. Nothing to protect you from the sun, poisonous plants, or tainted water. You're susceptible to anything and everything Mother Nature can throw at you.

It's also about survival and teamwork overcoming preconceived notions and beliefs. You have to stay warm and your only chance at avoiding hypothermia (forget comfort, that doesn't exist on this show) is by snuggling up to this other naked person who is not your significant other. You have to look at the human body as a way to survive, not as a sexual object, and you have to trust your partner is doing the same. It's dehumanizing in a strangely empowering way. You're using me as an object to keep you warm, yes, but I am the reason you can still feel your fingers and with your fingers we were able to build a shelter and hunt and survive. It's also intriguing to see how people adjust their morals to survive. In the Cambodia episode, the male contestant, Tom, refused to spoon his partner, Carrie. He was committed to his wife and couldn't bend that to support his partner. On one end, you want to commend Tom for sticking to his guns, regardless of the situation he was thrown in. His beliefs are sturdy and that should be commended. Right? But then you have the flip side- why couldn't he detach from the situation? Why did he sexualize the situation? The show is so multi-layered, it's fascinating. These topics aren't laid out for the viewers to dissect. If you want to view the show for what it is, you can. But the opportunity to engage more and to question more is there, which is why I think this program has seen such success and doesn't get berated by the media for using nudity as a cheap gimmick.

Thinking more of vanity, it's also not about the physical because you don't shower, shave, or brush your teeth for 21 days. If being naked was meant to woo viewers in a sexual and provocative way, they wouldn't make it look so gross and grimy. I'm personally not turned on by men covered in dirt, smelling rotten, with cuts infested by flies and maggots. And it's really hard for me to imagine someone being like wow- that girl looks so cute with bugs in her hair and pixelated boobs. The nudity isn't there for you to gawk at. 

As for Dating Naked, I haven't yet tuned in. But I can only hope the nudity provides depth instead of friskiness. 

Dear Emmy, Add a New Category

Let's take a gander at the nominees of Emmy's past for "Best Comedy". 

Girls, HBO

Nurse Jackie, Showtime

Louie, FX

Orange is the New Black, Netflix

Entourage, HBO

&& for the sake of argument, let's include Showtime's Shameless because William H. Macy and Emmy Rossum were entered in the comedy categories. Emmy did not receive a nomination and my feelings about that turn a bit violent, so we won't go there.


In a room of 500 television junkies, I'm pretty confident that every single person would raise their hand in support of a statement along the lines of "Do these shows make you laugh?". But the same amount would probably agree with a statement regarding the weight of these programs, the depth and drama they also provide their audiences. 

There are two types of comedy, an idea that isn't all that new in the media and entertainment. On one hand you have the cutesy, gut-busting comedy that distracts you from the turmoil and hectic drama that is real life. The other, the more profound of the two, makes you laugh, yes, but it strikes a strange nerve that makes you say "Hold up, this is deep". The latter floods your mind with questions about why you're laughing and what that says about you or the society you find yourself in. Think the Colbert Report and other satirical news shows that are actually more reliable than some of the more accepted news programs. The classic "HAHAH... oh wait" moment that the internet probably has amazing memes for.

For the aforementioned shows, their comedic lines and plots are backed by some serious writing chops, magical story-tellers, and phenomenal actors that are not afraid to tackle real issues in shockingly honest ways. They don't take the light-hearted approach and challenge their viewers to mentally engage. Not to belittle Modern Family in any way (I am a huge fan), but it's a bubbly sitcom. I don't typically sit there and analyze the conflicts the characters face and invest in their situations. I sit and laugh, that's about it. It's an escape for 30 minutes and by nature (because it is a sitcom) you aren't begging for it to be next week the minute the program ends. Whereas with Orange is the New Black, I binge-watched the whole second season in about two days because I needed to follow the character growth and was compelled by the enticing and passionate acting.

Besides that, things get political. The internet has voiced its opinions on the stagnant views of the Primetime Emmy's time and time again. Case in point, Modern Family now holds a tie with Frasier for five wins for Best Comedy. Cheers and All in the Family follow with four. Let it be known, that these are ALL sitcoms. Anyone else sense a pattern? On the flip side, OITNB's show runner, Jenji Kohan, placed the program in the Comedy category to up the chances of winning (which didn't work). Also getting the thumbs up from the Academy to switch over was John Wells and Shameless, a move done in hopes of boosting William H. Macy's chances of taking home the prize (again, failed attempt). I still can't decide whether this is a shady cop out or not. And I can't help but think it degrades the programming. I want to believe that it takes more talent to act in dramatic scenes. Utilizing more talent should probably be a factor when deciding on awards, no?

Sidebar! To the same extent, Matthew McConaughey spoke of his transition from rom-coms to dramas on NPR: "There's a lightness that you are able to keep and maintain in those that they need...You're not supposed to get, you know, Hamletian about it. You're not supposed to go deep. You go deep on those, you sink the ship."

Is it wrong to want actors that "go deep" to be rewarded for their efforts, as preparation for such hard-hitting scenes probably requires much more soul searching and grit than comedic banter sequences that you just have to apply your voice to?

The bottom line is- Can you put shows like Modern Family up against something as powerful and satirical as Nurse Jackie or as poignant as Orange is the New Black? It seems like an unfair battle. The mini-series and TV movie categories have been adjusted time and time again, so it's not like the Emmy's are scared of change. That said, Emmy's, dear sweet Academy, please add "dramedy" to your lexicon and quit overlooking programs that make us giggle, cry, think, and question. Their worth needs to be verified.